Heroes Do the Hard Stuff

Sometimes life is harder than it should be. The burdens are too heavy; the suffering is too great; the fear is too real; the worry is too consuming.

Right now, every area of my life is causing stress - and it feels too great to bear. It's easy to be angry - even at God. It's hard to understand and trust Him... so hard. I realized yesterday that the way I am reacting and thinking (a way I often unknowingly slip into, but am starting to become more aware of), is that I'm not asking Jesus to walk through the difficulties with me; I'm not just 'being' with Him, trusting Him, knowing that He is taking care of me and will continue to do so; I'm not asking Him to stay with me in the storm - I am just asking Him to fix it. And then I get mad when things don't change. Sometimes we have a really hard time accepting our circumstances and recognizing God's presence. As I say to myself "Lord, I want you to be with me, but right now, I don't just want you to be with me, I want you to fix things! I want you to act! Why does it have to be this way? Can't you just DO something? I know you can, but why won't you?!"

The answer is still one I usually don't like. The answer is that He's not changing things because He wants us to rely more completely on Him, less on ourselves, and less dependent on circumstances to make us happy, so that our contentment comes from HIM. A beautiful concept... but it doesn't feel so very beautiful.

We look at the saints' lives and are captured by the romanticism in a sense... we are intrigued by the level of their intimacy with God - an intimacy that requires serious heroic virtue. Heroes do the hard stuff, make the tough sacrifices, fill the role no one else will. Saints are God's heroes. Their intimacy with God is indeed beautiful and romantic; their lives a seemingly perfectly orchestrated symphony of love, suffering, and holiness. When we see all the facets of their lives come together and can read the whole story, we see that panoramic beauty of their walk with God. But it didn't always feel beautiful. It wasn't always easy. They didn't always like it. But they focused on the LORD, and not on their circumstances (something I have an exceedingly hard time emulating!), and that's what gave them their strength.

They kept their eyes on Jesus. They trusted Him. Their circumstances were hard. Their suffering was real, and awful, and hard to bear. But instead of pointing the finger at God, somehow blaming Him, or accusing Him of not loving them enough to intervene (which is what I like to do), they just kept loving Him. And BELIEVING that He had it all under control; accepting the knowledge of His love for them, and that He was their rescuer.

Heroes do the hard stuff. Heroes take action when it feels the least beautiful. And out of it comes huge reward, immense beauty. I'm working hard today - and in the days ahead - to look at Jesus and not at the stuff in my life that I want Him to fix before I will give Him my all. I may have to give Him my all over, and over, and over again, each time I get distracted and downhearted with life's chaos, and it's HARD. Life is harder than it should be! But heroes do the hard stuff.

Winds of Change, Fighting Back, & Fighting For

I was getting on a roll. I was keeping up. Writing new posts every Saturday for weeks in a row. I went on vacation, so I missed the 22nd of September. No problem, will just pick up again the next week. I came back from vacation on the 24th, and was honestly having a really hard time that very night just jumping back into real life, prepping for work the next morning, feeling kind of empty, and like I wasn't quite grounded. I left the house to go to a favorite place to pray. It helped me reset a little, and I returned to that favorite place again the following night for a bible study that a friend invited me to just the day before. Little did I know that the severe storms passing through that night would cause three tornadoes to develop in my area - and the southern-most one, went right through my yard as it finished its path and dissipated in the cornfield across the street. This all happened while I was at bible study and I had no idea until I returned to a home that I couldn't even get to because of the trees, debris, and power lines all over the road. Super long story made short, I walked my property with the fire department, made the way through the obstacle course into the house, packed a couple of bags, and headed to my parents' for the night - where I am still residing as I wait for the repairs.

I've been praying for a while (quite desperately) for a change in my life, just feeling kind of stuck and unhappy in a variety of ways, but boy!! This was not the kind of change I was expecting! It brings the term 'winds of change' up to a whole new level! I realized immediately - and continue to realize - how blessed I was not to have been home that night, and how providentially everything worked out so quickly to keep me safe. I certainly got my game-changer! (The saying is true by the way - be careful what you pray for!!)

God never moves in expected ways. He's like the super secret agent with more tricks up His sleeve than anyone is aware of. Sometimes He can really catch us off guard - but that's a good tactic of someone who can really get your attention, make you think, and cause a reaction. The reaction He is always aiming for is that of our reaction to rebound back to Him. The reaction He seeks is for us to seek Him. 

Though God is the supreme mover of the unexpected, our enemies have sly and cunning tricks that tempt us to the opposite reaction of turning away from God. We have to remember that our enemies are not of flesh and blood, but they they are the principalities and powers of darkness. They have tricks up their sleeves too, but they are far from unexpected like the ones God uses to draw us to Him. They are very predictable, very deceitful. They take our focus off Jesus. How do we fight back?

"The Lord says to my lord: 'Sit at my right hand, till I make your enemies your footstool.'" (Psalm 110:1)

The answer? Cling to Jesus. Stay seated at His right hand, keep running to Him, and it is He who will slay our enemies. I know Jesus wants me to write. I know he wants me to keep on keeping on with what He's called me to. He is showing me much and causing me to learn much through this time of trial with being displaced (and having to practice PROFOUND amounts of patience with insurance and contractors, etc!). But my enemies try to convince me to have God's plan take a backseat because my life right now is 'too busy, too exhausting, too overwhelming, too darn CRAZY' to carve out more time that I don't have, to do what He's asked. But I'm fighting back. I'm doing my best to keep Jesus first, to kick the enemies to the curb, I'm not even sort of close to always succeeding at this, but I absolutely will keep trying.

Lastly, today is All Souls' Day, so there's something we are fighting for. We are fighting for our brothers and sisters who have gone before us, awaiting their time in Purgatory, to see the face of God. Today, we pray for them, that they might be able to gaze on the loveliness of the Father, to rest in perfect union with their King & Creator - with Our King and Creator. I challenge you to offer a particular prayer today for the Holy Souls in Purgatory who have no one else to pray for them; who have no believing family on this earth to think of them and desire their final salvation. Maybe you are having a hard time fighting back against your enemies today - draw close to Jesus, choose to let him fight with and for you, and offer that suffering today for a soul in need of your prayers to see the face of God this day. And that soul in turn, will pray for you and help you on your journey this day and all the remaining days of your life. Be blessed my friends!

Photo source: https://tsnra.wordpress.com/articles/articles-by-editor/the-winds-of-change/